|
Question...
There seems to
be a general skepticism where I work. Everything is looked at
a little cynically. Sometimes it exhibits itself as a very low-level
sense of wariness, while at
other times it is a very clear and prominent notion that I, or
we, or all of us, had better have as our first priority looking
out for ourselves. I would describe it as a pervasive feeling
of a lack of trust, never too far from the surface, at times
seeming to permeate everything we do. This sense of mistrust
seems to be operative among individuals, work groups and indeed
our entire organization. What can I, or we, do to build trust?
Collaborations
response...
For people to
be open and honest so they can maximize the way they work and
live together, they must feel they can trust the individuals
they are working with. We'll discuss a definition of trust, the
challenges of trust, broken trust, trust in organizations and
what you can do about trust in your own relationships.
Defining Trust
Trust... "the
belief that those upon whom we depend will meet our expectations
of them." The more we depend on others, the more important
trust is in the relationship.
Organizations today are expecting people to work more collaboratively,
so it is no wonder that trust comes up as an issue. In fact,
we estimate that a minimum of 90% of the organizations and groups
with whom we work have "trust" issues - and not because
there is too much trust!
The Challenges
of Trust
The first challenge
is our mindset.
Do you believe that people are trustworthy?
Do you believe that people want to be trusting?
If your answers
to these questions are anything other than "Yes", you
are not alone, but we ask you to think about it for a moment.
Upon what do
you base your responses? We find people typically base their
response on just a few incidents or individuals out of literally
thousands of interactions with hundreds of people. Is it rational
to base your perception of people as not trusting or trustworthy
based on these few incidents? We think not.
Another basic
question is, Do you believe people generally are trying to do
the best they can in situations? Again we would suggest the answer
to that question is "yes" the vast majority of the
time.
Dave tells us
that during his POW experience, the prisoners' basic assumption
was that each person was doing the best he could in the circumstances.
This total and deep trust was a key part of what held them together
and helped them survive each day. You may say they took a "leap
of faith," but in the situation it was a leap worth taking.
Thus our basic
assumptions form the starting point for our disposition to trust
or not trust in every instance. Where we start makes a world
of difference.
A second challenge
is that we do not all approach trust in the same way. Some people
trust you until you break the trust, and others don't trust you
until you "earn it." This difference can impact the
relationship and lengthen the time to build trust.
We hear people
say all the time, "He or she has to earn my trust."
We would be willing to grant that there is much truth in that.
However, the kicker is that in order for anyone to earn your
trust you must be willing to trust them or how are they ever
going to earn it? That approach becomes a vicious cycle with
no way out. Who is going to make the first move?
So we challenge
you to reexamine your basic mindset because your starting point
and your mental frame of reference is critical in all interactions.
A third challenge
with trust is that we are often expecting something different
when we are looking for trust. Since the definition of trust
deals with our expectations of each other, it is imperative that
we have a great deal of clarity around those expectations.
There are also
different levels of trust. I don't suddenly have deep trust in
you. Rather trust is likely to build over time. Consider these
three levels of trust:
Level 1 -
Trustworthiness:
"I believe": Building reliability, openness & integrity
Level 2 -
Consistency:
"I trust": Counting on one another
Level 3 -
Faith: "Ultimate
trust": Going beyond the facts
If you are measuring
our trust at Level 1 and I am measuring at Level 3, you are likely
to have amore positive statement about the level of trust we
share. So, we need to have a conversation about what trust means
to each of us.
Broken Trust
It isn't always
easy to understand how trust is built, yet we certainly know
when it's missing or broken. And, while we each react in our
own way to a betrayal, people seem to agree that rebuilding broken
trust takes longer, if it is regained at all.
The "betrayal
of trust" is a huge error, a devastating mistake in both
leadership and relationships. It is an error whose damage is
incredibly difficult to repair. It is no wonder that a few incidents
where trust is betrayed tend to have an impact which is completely
out of proportion considering one's total experience.
Organizational
Trust
The climate of
trust in organizations comes largely from the leadership and,
of course, to some extent, we all exercise a degree of leadership.
In Learning to Lead, Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith describe
four ingredients for trust:
Constancy - Whatever surprise
leaders themselves face, they do not create any for the group.
They maintain continuity and security.
Congruity - Leaders walk their
talk. There is no gap between the theories they espouse and the
ones they practice. Their morality is found in their behavior.
Reliability - Leaders are there
when it counts. They are ready to support their coworkers in
the moments that matter.
Integrity - Leaders honor their
commitments and promises. They are ethical in their relationships.
What Can You
Do?
Facilitators
use several activities which are designed to reinforce and show
examples of trust being very effective. You've probably been
exposed to some of them. Some are simple activities such as "trust
walks" where one person is blind folded and led around by
a partner, or "trust falls" where one person catches
another as he falls backward. Other activities are more complex,
but all are designed to clearly demonstrate trust in action and
can provide an opportunity for a group to discuss their trust
issues.
Probably the
best way to work on trust is to challenge your own assumptions
and beliefs about trust. To the extent that trust is an issue
in your life or your organization, we suggest that if you will
change your attitude and mindset to be more trusting, there will
be a change in the constellation around you.
Where do you
need to focus on trust?
Do you have relationships
where trust is important? Write the names of those people with
whom you need, or want, to have strong trust (family members,
employees, peers, your boss, etc.) Then, evaluate two things:
1) How much trust do they
have in me -- high, medium or low? and
2) How much trust do I have
in them?
Now, what will
you do to either maintain or increase the trust with each individual?
Create your plan and start working it!
Back
to "Features" Menu |
