Wouldn't it be great if we could be as influential as we wanted? Do you ever wish that you could wave a magic wand and achieve the results you hope for? You can! Influence - the ability to connect with others and create fulfilling relationships - is for you! It is well within your grasp. Those who impact others know a few simple tricks. Use these tips to create your own success. Good luck!

Influence -- n., v., 1. The capacity or power of persons or things to produce effects on others by intangible or indirect means. 2. The power to persuade, to move a person to action. 3. To affect.

1. Be Prepared
What do you want? Have a clear purpose for yourself. Make a list of 100 services, things, and experiences that you want. Look at this list regularly.

2. Meet and Greet
Be willing to introduce yourself to others; act like a host. I met Laya Martinez, the President of a successful data processing business, at a meeting when she took the initiative to invite me to sit at her table. Since that first meeting she has introduced me to at least a dozen people she knows I would enjoy meeting. As a result, do I think she is influential? Yes! Why don't more people introduce themselves and others? My hunch is that they haven't practiced and feel the uncomfortable feeling of shyness; both can be overcome!

When introducing you say the name of the honored person first. For example: "Chris Client, I'd like to introduce you to my boss, Dale Smith." Then say something about each person so that they have a topic they may converse about. "Dale, you would be interested to know that Chris just recently won a golf tournament at the club. Chris, Dale's goal in life is to shoot in the 70s!" Now these two can open their conversation with each other on a comfortable topic. If you don't know the other person well enough to share an interesting tip bit about them then you need the next commandment in being influential.

3. Listen & Ask Questions
Influential people help others -- be prepared to do so by asking others about their goals and dreams. Find out WIIFT (what's in it for them), why did the person you are speaking to come to this meeting, company or conference. Asking questions shows interest. Recently I attended a meeting with a business friend. As we were driving together to the meeting, she asked me questions about my interests, my business, and my family. The two hours we spent together flew by and I found myself wishing we had even more time together. Why? She was a great listener and acted interested in me by asking questions like: Why did you first join this association? How have you benefited from being a member? What social activities do you enjoy?

4. Participate
Plan two or three topics that you could bring up in conversation. The weather, what is occurring around you currently, and positive current events are good opening topics. Share the stories of your life. If you ask someone a question be willing to answer the same type question about yourself. Identify four or five stories about yourself that you enjoy telling and that have a point. By sharing these stories you set the stage for the other person to contribute in kind. This is the basis on which relationships are formed. And yes, influential people have lots of relationships in which they actively participate.

5. Be Confident
Stand up straight and project enthusiasm. Practice your self introduction several times with someone who can coach you on how you are projecting yourself. I watched Kevin Murphy greet guests with great respect and confidence at his Christmas Celebration Event at Eagle Lodge. When guests walked in the door he was ready in the lobby, shook hands immediately, smiled, had direct eye contact, and spoke with each client for several minutes. His warm assured welcome made his customers feel delighted to be there.

6. Speak Up
Ask a question that shows you were listening. A great way to speak up is to volunteer to be on the membership or program committee of your association. You will meet new people and influence what topics are presented at your meetings. Influencers speak up by complimenting those people who are contributing to the meeting. Point out what the speaker did that was helpful to you, compliment the person who wrote the newsletter, or share your ideas with the program committee on what is working about the meeting format.

Influencers also provide solutions to problems. At a meeting I recently attended, a participant volunteered to leave a meeting to get a cable that would enable the speaker to use his computer projection equipment. The speaker could have been completely without his audio/visual content had she not offered to retrieve hers from her home nearby. When she returned, the speaker asked the audience to give her a standing ovation. She spoke up to help and was viewed as very influential by the seventy people attending the event.

7. Reciprocate
My mother used to say, "If someone invites you to their home to dinner, and you want to keep them as a friend, you need to invite them to your home." The same is true of any type of invitation. When someone invites me to attend an association meeting or to have lunch together, and I see the opportunity to develop the relationship further, I look for an opportunity to extend an invitation. It may for an upcoming meeting I know they would appreciate or an introduction to someone in my network who I think they would enjoy meeting. Reciprocation is a powerful influence tool; we are conditioned to want to give to those who give to us.

8. Dress Appropriately
I've seen women dressed in a very short skirt and low cut silk blouse, with big hair lose credibility with other business quickly just because of their look. With the trend toward casual off site meetings attendees can be viewed as stuffed shirts if they show up in a suit and tie when the rest of the group is in casual slacks with out ties. Both men and women need a professional jacket even at a business casual meeting. A jacket adds visual credibility and enhances your ability to sell your ideas.

9. Business Cards Connect
Never leave home with out your business cards; in a bakery on a Saturday I struck up a conversation with a woman I'd never met. The conversation led to business opportunities. Because I was able to give her my business card she is now a client.

Influential people know that writing their name on the back of a napkin has much less savvy than a clean, clear business card. I met Sharla Feldscher when she spoke on Public Relations at the Philadelphia Chamber of Commerce recently. After her speech I approached to compliment her on the great stories she used to describe how PR works. She gracefully gave me her card. When I gave her mine, she stopped to look at it, commented on it, and thoughtfully put it into her pocket. She impressed me that she didn't just shuffle my card into a stack in her hand, she made each person who approached her feel special. I couldn't help but want to keep in touch with her -- having her business card made it easy for me to reconnect.

10. Make it a Habit
Practice these steps. Being influential is around the corner if you keep doing these things. Marketing experts tell us that customers need to see our name 7 - 9 times before they will remember us, believe our message, and buy. This goes for being seen as an influential member of a group too. If we want to be influential we need to be active. One of life's rewarding habits -- being an influential person.

© Shawn Kent, 1998
Shawn Kent, President of Influence Mastery Inc., works with organizations that want their people to connect better with others and with people who want to communicate more clearly. Ms. Kent is the author of Mastering Your Influence™ and The Influence Journey. Shawn is available for coaching or training on Influence, Mentoring, Networking and Presentation Skills. Call 800.393.5707 for more information or visit www.InfluenceMastery.com 

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